If any of you are reading this and thinking (or ruminating) if you should end it all, to finish your life in one blow of an instant,
STOP.
JUST STOP IT, RIGHT THERE. RIGHT NOW.
DON’T YOU DARE DO IT.
NOT YOUR TIME YET.
SO JUST.. STOP.
Look, I know how it feels to want to end things in your supposed end game, when MISERY is straight up THE ONLY BLESSING you likely have. That emotion is so deeply etched in your head and heart right now, you can’t ever shake it off and everything else just doesn’t seem like you could go on. You believe you are always falling in reverse, wondering why the hell suicide always comes running back to you in full circle calling out to you to do it. But, dear you gracious human whoever you are, you are really not alone in your crater of problems. Not at all, alone. Although well, technically, we only have our own bodies to take care and account for independently but that is not the point in this situation. If ever, emptiness haunts you late at night, know that even I, someone from the so distant internet galaxy LOVES you and would give you the chunkiest, plumpest bear hug for as long as you want if you just knew that someone like me at the other corner of the world cares. If you weren’t my friend which I never had the chance to get acquainted with, I’m so very sorry and regret that I can’t emergency board the next flight to your state, county, or township and stay up all day and night to keep you company in the hours you hole up in your room as you go through the worst shit in life.
We’ve all been there, somehow, and some of us got rather beat up and worn. Now, I’m not going to be that weird spongebob idiot that says “Hey, one who got cancer probably has it far worst than you”. Or, insensitively blurt “that neighbour with autism or an arm, leg, or spinal disability is still trying to live out his life to the fullest but you probably aren’t.” WTF. If some priggish friends or even one particular family member said these to you, they deserve a huge smorgasbord of smackers in the face and no one can complain. Because they don’t ever know you, or how you are feeling in your unique predicament. Yes, your circumstance is SPECIAL. No one compares and no one will be like you. Remember that Chainsmokers’ song? “Cos I don’t really like anybody, so don’t tell me I’m like anybody”. OHH yeahhhh, you aren’t into anybody or anything and can’t be bothered about how people think of you. You are just doing you. There is nothing wrong with wanting to die so don’t suppress this as a matter of being weak.
For starters, take a deep breath. Breathe in the whole damn fucking world around you and exhale that. Do it again, this time overloading your lungs till they are almost bursting, then let it out. Repeat this until you are ready to snap out of the rut, presuming you are in a toilet crying at school and had the disastrous nuclear mental meltdown. Once the air slowly clears apart from the staleness you experienced, take a good step out of the cubicle and give a splash of water on your head to freshen up. You got this.
Life is hard, I know. In between trying to escape the tragic plight of the hunger games every now and then, we get caught up in someone else’s crossfires and are shot right in the chest, twice. Or thrice. Or more. Ouch that fucking hurts. Yes, it sure does. But don’t put yourself down for it. You are strong, you are capable, and you are worth it. Build your bulletproof. Now, I don’t want to sound like an overdone mantra journal or motivational stationery quote collection you can find on Typo, Kikki K or Urban Outfitters. However, there is still life for you in every ray of hope, sunshine, rainbows and unicorns that you just got to see them for yourself in order to realise. Everything may be blind now, pitting into darkness, darkest of places but you will overcome them and find that piece of delicious chicken in smokin’ BBQ sauce tempting you out of your black. YES. YOU WILL GET THERE.
So for now, why don’t you just grab my hand and let’s just go grab a cuppa coffee with some funky jazz music at an awesome teashop that sells coffee better than tea. How bout that?