Reset Your Life In 2020 With These Eight Steps [5 Min Read]

Welcome to 2020, another chance you are invited to rethink about your life once again. Since this is January, where most people plot their yearly targets and goals while scheduling their calendars like the businessmen/women they are, it is THE most appropriate albeit clichéd time to think about a good life RESET. Would be good if you could give yourself a vacation day to think about Resetting Your Life seriously.

HOW TO RESET YOUR LIFE, THIS TIME (HELLLL YEAH !!!!!)

FIRST, THINK ABOUT ELIMINATING THOSE THINGS YOU DON’T WANNA DO OR BE IN 2020

This year, instead of planning all the fun, great things to do this awesome year right away like the exciting family holiday you have planned in Spring or Autumn, be sure to remove all those things you think you can do without. For example, what are some major lifestyle decisions which you have chose to un-adopt ? Like going to a club party every weekend just for an additional high booster of booze and all night dancing only to come home dreading your drunk actions with terrible hangovers the next day? Uncheck all those things you will not be doing ever again and no longer will be participating - including any employment decisions such as a potential job-hopping or resigning from your current line of work because it no longer made you happier or enhanced your wellbeing. Not to mention, draining all your precious resources. LET IT GO.

AND THEN, ADD THOSE NEW ACTIONS WHICH YOU INTEND TO DO IN 2020

Here’s the best part after curbing those deeds you no longer will be doing. Adding new actions to your activities. Those cooking classes which you have spent your work time thinking about and hesitating whether it is worth going even when you can’t ever cook? DO IT. If you have spent more than a week thinking about a class, an event, a situation, something in a lifestyle that you want, GO FOR IT. Don’t be afraid of risking anything because the outcome didn’t turn out as expected. Usually, we just need a little push from our inner voice. And this is that little voice nagging at you for so many hours already! Go ahead, get it done in 2020!

to do: making sure my cat has a life.

(Because, they don’t.)

OF COURSE, TIME TO BACKUP YOUR LIFE NOW IN 2020 (just like your iPhone)

Last year some plans went downhill, certain circumstances unfolded because you didn’t take into account some issues that have actually affected you immensely. For example, if you went on a trip to Spain in 2019 and was pickpocketed by a bandit and/or due to bad weather circumstances had to postpone some itineraries during the trip.. BUT holy moly you forgot to insure yourself with travel insurance, pack protective gears and do your homework before you leave for Spain. The very next time you are going anywhere again, you sure as hell will buy that insurance package that offers the best defense against the worst that can happen during your adventures. You will prepare raincoats for stormy days, or have arrangements to book for another day tour if there is even a rain check for the highlight show, and have enough interesting venues to visit. Plan your Plan B, C, D, or all the way to Z if you possibly can. Plan C will kick in when B fails, Plan D will help Plan C, and the chain of backups will somehow take you out of the woods in most batshit scenarios. Start holding and maintaining backups to your act each time, so you don’t have to start all over again. Point said?

backup yourself by backing up the backups too, before it pours.

START TAKING BETTER CARE OF YOURSELF IN 2020 (did you love yourself?)

How often did you really took care of yourself last year, to allow yourself room to breathe? Think about all your values and expectations. Have you been too hard on yourself? Why couldn’t you take that sick leave when you have that fever and still pulled your hardworking ass to work just to impress your demanding boss? (Eventually you became really sick and had no choice but to call in sick for many days, what for?). Have you been skipping meals for more than 200 days in a year? Did you overly diet yourself just to feel better in a new outfit or save money? Did you ignore what your body tells you? If you are in pain for the most part of last year, time to go see a doctor to obtain treatment and remedy instead of procrastinating. Pain is the largest indicator that you are NOT WELL AND NOT TAKING CARE of yourself!

DECLUTTER, EXTRACCCTTTTT ALL YOUR THINGS THAT DON’T SPARK KONDO HERO JOY IN 2020

Like what the Kondo cleaning goddess has said, get rid of things that no longer serve your happiness or joy. If you can’t minimise, at least simplify your possessions and ensure that there is only calm in organisation and purpose in having those things. Digitally declutter all your electronic devices like your drives and mobile phones, accounts and more where too many unimportant information isn’t needed anymore. Remember, all your stuff should be mostly 80% living space and not so much of storage space. If you can’t give away something, pass it away to your best friend who might be delighted to have it, or donate to charity. And if you really can’t, make sure to repurpose that item into something else that value adds you. You don’t have time to live with clutter in 2020!

declutter> only kondo-ing when kondo-ed.

GET ON TOP OF ALL YOUR FINANCES IN 2020 (yes I know this is eewwwww… boring)

Did you break the bank last year by purchasing many, omg several new (some not even used) things that were totally out of your planned budget? This year, you will reset to be a much more savvy person in monitoring all of your spending patterns. You will talk to your spouse often about your shopping, you will keep those receipts, compile and track them each time you sense some impulse buying. I’m not even talking about investments yet, but if you are smart about investing and engage well in that arena, go ahead I can’t outdo you. Nevertheless, you have to know exactly how much you can save each time you give some money away for something you perhaps don’t even need. And for needy items, have you sought better alternatives to get them elsewhere instead of the usual stores you go to? These days, e-commerce sites offer the best deals coupled with credit card and many other additional perks in case you weren’t aware. Also various full-priced articles regularly go on sale online, you can’t possibly miss every single opportunity to make use of them.

DEFINE YOUR IDEAL LIFE - EVERYTHING, IN LIFE 2020 (relationships, commitments, episodes)

In 2020, you will rethink what it means to really go to work, what it means to interact with people you hardly care about, what it means to have a stable boyfriend or girlfriend and stand for what you preach. You will get true and truer right now about how you want your life to exactly unfold (like what 500 podcasts from TEDTalks to famous Youtubers to brilliant money-making speakers have a lot to say). Start to design your life meticulously now, crafting out clearly what is your ideal morning, afternoon and night from start to finish. This is probably the best way to starting saying NO in glorious condescending Sarah Knight style but don’t be mean to people who really love you. Learn to end some friendships which were narcissistically toxic, say no to badgering donation solicitors that are shady and untruthful, cut back on your lifestyle habits (like staying up late to binge watch movies or dramas) that prevented you from an early start the next day. Set it in this reset that you are going to say NO to things that you don’t see as ideal for you.

print out your life in color and see which sweet one fits you.

BE GRATEFUL AND THINK GRATITUDE (how Lavendaire perspicaciously lines her journals)

This year, write down in a journal or in your hard-pressed head that you are sincerely, genuinely, uttermostly appreciative of everything. Yes, everything my dear. From the small to the big things and the insanely bad to the good. So long as you can find a reason to be thankful for, you will be a much better person in 2020. Why do you bother being sad when you are actually sipping Starbucks Reserve nitro brew right now when children in the other continents are only trying to stay hydrated by river water. If you are married and have kids at age 28 but are really panicking about them right now, pulling out your hairs in the struggle for work-life balance, learn to see that it would all pass and all your wonderful babies will eventually grow up with the most surprising of beer loud cheers. For there are always singles out there who would kill to be you in every minute and day of your worries. And there again, you lament?

i am grateful for smelly durians.

Now go on, reset that life in 2020 and live your very best life! Love, Vander.

It's Never Too Late To Be Who & What You Want To Be

Time to lay those naysayers to rest and escape those communists (not literally!) who oppress. It’s never too late to be who you want to be, who you set yourself out to become. Dreams are reality, if only you can see. You may feel like you are stuck in an age of despair, with no doors ahead of you to go at dead end. But know that you are in a safe place, because it’s never too late. Foremost, please, please constantly remember this :

AGE IS JUST A FUCKING NUMBER the admins gotta register for the government in any nation to keep tabs. To monitor, maintain and audit the order of life time among us homo sapiens. It’s not who you are, or the defined limits you can do. Of course, to a certain point as you get older into age, your skin will sag and your bodies will fail you. You cannot reach for that can of sardines right on top of that odd cupboard corner with the same known agility. You cannot even climb stairs and mountains steadily like before. We understand that. The cat observes that. Everyone knows about the irreversible biological clock ticking away. Would it define your dreams? NOPE. Fact, you still can dream, and it’s not too late to attain that dream, if only you just believe you can do it.

“Consult not your fears but your hopes and your dreams. Think not about your frustrations, but about your unfulfilled potential. Concern yourself not with what you tried and failed in, but with what it is still possible for you to do.” ….Pope John XXIII

In the owl wink of an eye, I am 33 years old. Ambitious, hardworking folks at this age would have already found highly paid executive jobs while launching into managerial positions and leading key projects, positioning forces driving stable industry careers. Along with 3 awesome kids perhaps, the oldest a 10 year old raving BTS, the youngest a fun toddler role-playing nurse. And an understanding husband doubling up as mom. In a beautifully designed modern apartment with curated furniture pieces, pet corgis, peaches and cream.

Yet now, I, the single unmarried lady of the hunger games universe venture into becoming a nobody writer blindfully attempting to carve a niche out of becoming an actual writer, that is. It is crazy, how this dream journey has begun for me, facing 3000 rejections (I love you 3000!) from some friends, family, companies, recruiters, job ads, hoards overarch perceiving I went kabonkers to step out as middle-age writer; simply because somehow it infrequently crossed their minds that I EVER could competently write. Why, why would they think that way? I often pondered thoroughly hard.

One thing I knew poignant enough, I’ve lacked concrete professional experiences in writing and my dream had to build on this. So I sucked it up, wallowed in misery for a few days, depressed over job ads and anything related to this dream of becoming a writer meanwhile. I found myself weeping whenever I typed out interesting poetry and stories on my laptop, terribly worried if my material would get out someday and if ever a person would enjoy reading my text. Blimey, I loved writing so much that even in my misery I just had to continue writing.

“The one thing that you have that nobody else has is you. Your voice, your mind, your story, your vision. So write and draw and build and play and dance and live as only you can.” ….Neil Gaiman

Generally, it wasn’t hard to imagine where most people were coming from what they advised me, but at times they and those barriers society accentuate traps you into thinking like society and everyone else does. Some rules and requisites were by far the subject matter enforced to maintain appropriate status quo. So then the norms to assimilate by these rules grow ingrained and internalised, and people followed them. And oh, the one million writing internships that I fervently applied? They were all nada and gone with the wind. THEN, I knew for sure. No one sane would ever hire an intern in their 30s. No one. Well, with the sole exception of that expectation wherein I should have already been an intern in my early 20s and normatively now the emplacement of a 30s experienced writer. Them gremlins never dabbled the idea of employing a 30s intern - it would be embarrassing and it would defeat the purpose of grooming obvious talented youths far more worthy of that internship if their potential eclipses 30s middle age relics.

In a tight labor market of specialty stalls in Singapore, no one preferably thinks that a 30s could be a novice writer doing social media optimisation, quick flex push-button feeds, second-hand blogging, or any decent updated to the masses Kardashian column on social accounts. Because, in social media, a 30s woman is a senior akin to an old, withering lady gut-leaking boredom. See, this is an excuse to cordon off wise sages bearing the fruitiest of all fruits as maturity develops across the continuum of cognitive nurturance. The 30s is a fucking cool aunt who delivers the best hippiest intelligence man has ever known.

HEY, if dreams tend to privilege the young and snub others who could be young at heart, the world would be such a sad, sordid place. Many opportunities would be limited to a select elitist few, and meritocracy would be an impenetrable firewall. Some grizzled, talented outliers would have to hang themselves on the noose because people didn’t care or believed in them. And we won’t have interesting stories to share and spread about that mature jaw-dropping maverick. There would be lesser Susan Boyles, Harry Bernsteins, Vera Wangs, Julia Childs and other late bloomers delighting us with spectacular works of art, science and substance. Refinement comes with age, and sometimes going about a maze for years before even hoping to land that dream does more wonders than having it all at 21. If any of it matters, I implore all you dear electrified netizens to go pursue your dreams, aptly do that dream(s), because it’s never too late to be who or what you wanted to be.

How To effect your dream (SINCE It’S NEVER TOO Late.)

One known key to the fulfilment of any dream (or dreams) you got to importantly bear in mind and commit dedicatedly to action is that : Persistence trumps all gifts and talents. In case you misunderstood, persistence does not mean you have to work 16 hours a day without leave days and ample rest only to give up later because you died overworked. Persistence means showing up every single day to work a little closer to your dream no matter what it takes when shit flies by bazookas, doing the same thing that you did every time, reworking some over again and not throwing in the towel.

It is sheer determination of any sorts, the propelling unconditional persevering and perseverance your parents would go to great lengths in order to protect you at all costs and satisfy your hunger when you really need to feed. Despite all of their weariness from babysitting and panic at the disco, your parents don’t abandon you in the lurch. In fact, most days, they endeavoured a smile at your foolishness to wrap thy heart warm because their love for you is ultimate. Persistence is great effort that consistently advances effort, a kind of stubbornness that never gives, a smorgasbord of pent-up insatiable feelings trudging on for the dream.

Besides, talented individuals would not be too persistent for they are conceited with their preoccupied talents requiring less effort to succeed, so they believed. BUT, you don’t have to be talented to win, you only need to keep your foot on the accelerator long enough so you don’t ever fall behind others. Exactly, like what late US President Calvin Coolidge serving in the 1920s, the “Roaring Twenties” told. Or Angela Duckworth in her cogent book of “Grit.. ”. Being the cool underdog: If gifted men and women tire out somehow and walk away disinterested but you don’t and continue toiling, then surely you are in this way more extraordinary than people could judge otherwise.

persistence, Coolidge.

The 30th US President, late Calvin Coolidge responsible for the roaring twenties and American affluence advocates persistence!

Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not: nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not: the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent.

- Calvin Coolidge (As omnipotent pictured above at his sworn-in.)

“Enthusiasm is common. Endurance is rare.” …

“...there are no shortcuts to excellence. Developing real expertise, figuring out really hard problems, it all takes time―longer than most people imagine....you've got to apply those skills and produce goods or services that are valuable to people....Grit is about working on something you care about so much that you're willing to stay loyal to it...it's doing what you love, but not just falling in love―staying in love.” …

“Staying on the treadmill is one thing, and I do think it’s related to staying true to our commitments even when we’re not comfortable. But getting back on the treadmill the next day, eager to try again, is in my view even more reflective of grit. Because when you don’t come back the next day—when you permanently turn your back on a commitment—your effort plummets to zero. As a consequence, your skills stop improving, and at the same time, you stop producing anything with whatever skills you have.” …

“Yes, but the main thing is that greatness is doable. Greatness is many, many individual feats, and each of them is doable.” …

“Without effort, your talent is nothing more than unmet potential. Without effort, your skill is nothing more than what you could have done but didn't.”

― Angela Duckworth, Grit: Passion, Perseverance, and the Science of Success (The Guru of Tenacious Effort and Self-Improvement)

Another element crucial to the realisation of your dream is that : You have to be a Philosopher. Not like Aristotle or a Paladin per se, but in a modern sensibility - you get what I mean. The only way to be conscious, to understand and carry out the true values critical to the fortune of any winner dreaming up success is to be a Philosopher, thinking and overthinking the shit shat out of most things.

This complexity of thinking in its entirety conjures an ideology that will allow you to win past obstacles, even war if necessary. If Sun Tzu fashioned the “Art of War” tasked as military strategist, it also means he had so damn well philosophised around what will happen to generals and soldiers on the fronts braving the rain and raking blood-stained shields to take out enemy targets. You could imagine simulations in his head leading to strategic resolutions and an ideal vision of victory. Thereafter he would execute counter-measures to minimise battle distress and fatalities.

In particular, the philosopher holds the power of thought clarity and abstract awareness towards true objectives. The philosopher will then craft meticulous chapters sequential on the route to champion a dream ending. Bonus, philosophising also inspires and motivates you to keep going when life gets tough. No kidding, when you tread into becoming a “think-tank”, you actually grow wiser and ethical because knowledge touches you in amazing ways.

And, the corresponding wisdom guides any to live life aligned to profound principles and cultivated traits such as resilience, respect, generosity and minimalism maybe (lol). You will love this wisdom because it not only enriches your mind, it centers your dream vision and encourages you to be a genuinely good person (unless you don’t want to..OMG). Reaping the benefits, you will consistently pursue this wisdom and be addict to philosophising like baited fish and fishermen hooked to bait. In any case, the accumulation of vital information over firm philosophy cements definite plans to gravitate your dream nearer towards reality.

Philosophize, thoreau.

Brilliant transcendentalist philosopher, poet, and essayist. Ralph Waldo Emerson’s BFF and roommate. Thoreau believed we should look inwards and our natural milieu for life’s answers.

To be a philosopher is not merely to have subtle thoughts, nor even to found a school, but so to love wisdom as to live according to its dictates, a life of simplicity, independence, magnanimity and trust.

- Henry David Thoreau (Bearded, cool, witty Man of Philosophy.)

“the unexamined life is not worth living,”

- Socrates (Classic and always relevant)

“Think left and think right and think low and think high. Oh, the thinks you can think up if only you try!”

- Dr. Seuss (The Thinking Cap)

“A concept is a brick. It can be used to build a courthouse of reason. Or it can be thrown through the window.”

- Gilles Deleuze (On Capitalism and Schizophrenia)

“Science is what you know. Philosophy is what you don't know”

- Bertrand Russell (I guess he knows.)

Of course, if you are already paving your move and plotting that graph towards that dream, you might not want to forget that along the way : Failure is always welcome and is your chewing gum. Seriously. Mistakes will show and even when you are so ready, accidental screw-ups will slip through the cracks. Life gives you lemons, and sometimes you don’t even get to juice a drop of lemonade. Will you curl up in foetal, cry out loud and forgo whatever dream you wanted just so failure happens?

When I was younger, I used to cower at surprises which comprise of failure events. Loathed how stuff didn’t go my way turning out bad than I had anticipated. Felt those failures hung me out to dry. Failures were severe injuries. However, as I’ve found, even in failure you will have that momentum to succeed if your positive attitude and strength is the infinite burning bush, never doused or extinguished but decisively set on goals. AND. The innate desperation to achieve dream goals hastens so exceedingly that you have no time and energy to be upset over spilled milk since understanding the mechanics of failure to overcome poor outcomes takes precedence over anything else. Many fear failure, paralyzed as though it will consume them like the darkness did and would strive to prevent that from happening at all costs, so risk-taking is not quite an option and experimenting is an abomination.

Honestly with that many rejected writer application notices I’ve had ballooning the obesity of my e-mail, to date the amount of perceived failure from these would surmount to atomic Godzilla blasts potent to flatten the city. Nevertheless, those “We regret to inform you…. you are not” responses did not the least pummel me out. I wouldn’t be in my pyjamas having the monty breakfast and dancing to Bruno Mars today if it did. Chew on the failure like gum; don’t swallow it, but munch and munch to tune, whet your appetite for better food to come. Note to self - Failure is always, always gunning you for success. Paulo Coelho purposefully slithers in rat-like into the soul’s crevices the need for relentless courage in the face of disappointments when one seeks to achieve dreams. This optimism is pungently scattered all over his finessed poetic prose you don’t even have to scour his directive.

Fearless at failures, Coelho.

Brazilian novelist. Iconic, earth-shattering, heartwarming messages in full fiction works. I would totally be his apprentice for free if he does not mind my suffocating presence.

“There is only one thing that makes a dream impossible to achieve: the fear of failure.” …

“Don't give in to your fears. If you do, you won't be able to talk to your heart.” …

“The secret of life, though, is to fall seven times and to get up eight times.” …

“And, when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.”

- Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist (The only book you ever need when lost.)

“Everything tells me that I am about to make a wrong decision, but making mistakes is just part of life. What does the world want of me? Does it want me to take no risks, to go back to where I came from because I didn't have the courage to say "yes" to life?”

- Paulo Coelho, Eleven Minutes (Mind-blowing and life-changing.)

Be back for more.