Fiction

The Shape of You [Love Story]

I: First there were the eyes

First there were the eyes that gleamed of sun and summer. Then there was the boyish gummy smile that made you want to smile all of a sudden. And that innocent smugness he carried around wasn’t just smart, it had to be orchestrated.

Yes, perfectly orchestrated. I really don’t think this is first love. Way too much to be first love. Love it is, is it?

Where was I? I was on the train. It’s about 6.20pm. And lucky, he was there again, with two of his friends. I see him in the evenings on this train often, and I know this train is his usual ride to his destination. Is it more than pure coincidence? That I’ve seen him twice in school but six times on this train now. As usual, no amount of tiredness can refuse a gaze at him.

Funny, he seems to enjoy sitting opposite me (well there is space anyway so go ahead to lounge anywhere?). Oh gawd, my heart is racing. School was intense today but nothing is more intense than your crush sitting right across. Should I get up and move to the next cabin? Or should I exit this train and get on the next one? I have to stop staring at him (I do that all the time so this must not be habit) because I have to divert once he realises the staring, and of course I have to look tired which is why I stare listlessly in the first place. My eyes are rolling now, this is getting weird and I have to pretend it is normal but it is not.

As I fidget a little, the view of the beautiful lake Catrun from the windows came into view. I looked over and was just amazed that the sky had nicely turned into a serene orange against a still lake. Going home during this time was definitely worth it when the sun was setting. I lifted up my mobile phone from my bag and snapped a shot of it, something that I’ve done about a thousand times already and I have a massive collection of Catrun’s lake pictures now. As I put away my phone, something caught on and I trembled immediately. He was glancing at me. Our eyes met.

Help. My heart was sending butterflies to my head now. Why is my head fluttering?

As if the train knew it was my stop to alight, I had just arrived at my station. The minute the train doors opened, I grabbed my bag and burst out of the train. He was still looking on when I ran out, what the hell.

OK, breathe. No wait, don’t breathe. Lungs did not care.

The Bermuda Sky [A Horror Story] Part 3

“Just kill it already!!!!! Can’t you see it?” Out of a corner, someone was standing behind the monster, a shadowy figure holding a long scythe with effervescent, glowing stones. There was an inscription on the scythe. Weirdly, I knew the scythe was friendly. What was that? Who’s there? I felt the perpetual glow push me out of my drowning state, a gentle strength skipping the deadly precipice. Something or someone was waiting for me to do something. Who? The wispy arachnid had its separated hairy child wrap itself around my neck, raising me four floors up into the air, dangling and stuck. From above, I could vaguely see a roofless room that had yellow chalks at the chalkboard. A basketball. There were scribbles on the tables. It was time, and I was fading out.. what was the point in struggling. And bending to breathe. And growing up. Let go, the mountains are beyond deers.

“Are you kidding me?! KILLLL. IT. Are you REALLYY DUMB OR STUPID???” There was this tiny girl in bangs, mad kid racing in a few feet away from the creature, just breaking in to my death scene, rude impudence fueling the all-knowing to taunt and batter by shouting. Worst, not the least helping. Again, reminding me why bold caffeinated Emma Chamberlain social media chatterboxes had produced daredevil good-for-nothings chowing down breakfast eggs and hash from their mother’s pan. JUST as I was about to die and nearing brain dead to do anything. Tight at the neck already. What the fuck! The monster was clamping the daylights out of me, not affected by the little bitch. Big monster didn’t even see or recognised that there was another annoying midget, conveniently prepared for succulent monster grub.

The glow was warming up to me now. There was a kind of rousing wickedness coming forth from inside my head. My right hand unbelievably started moving on its own, fighting the chokehold, the internal strength impervious and masculine, twisting and gorging out from the squeeze. The aggressive reflex shifted the tipping balance to an active influence and was answering fear in return. A thrust of wind, icy with a force and carrying a flow from a source within my right palm, blew and tore wide open the chest of the beast, grabbing the giant beating heart and bursting its core through the grip of my hand. From the chilly blast, flesh deformed till all the blood insides spilled out, dripping on the broken tiles. Complete, like I had done the act before, the confidence from a prior knowing. The heat inside me sent out clear signs again gesturing that I should have done so, and not fail cower away to the toilet hole I wanted to mark as my grave.

I fell to the ground first, one leg hitting a cement beam, letting out a scream and recoiling into a fetus. Gasping away, I saw my brother collapsed beside me. He had fainted, and he saw the whole deal of monster and my hand killing it. I brought my hand up to my mouth, not touching, merely plain searching for the innermost soul to gather the course of my hand. What happened? I’ve done something I didn’t think of doing. But it was familiar and sure by the hand. Am I an Avenger now? My knees felt rather jelly, and it was despicable to be an Avenger. I might be evil, just as I’ve felt myself wanting evil earlier. I burrowed out the throbbing heart, not even half wincing.

I managed on my feet, and looked around. That crazy kid, about 10 I believe, stood in front of my brother, a meter ahead. Her eyes were scanning and patronising. Leaping inwards, she sat on one of the fallen broken sinks, her cherubic cheeks got up close to mine, smelling of sandalwood. “Is this your first?” she began her inspection of my physique.

“What are you talking about??” I yelled back, alarmed at the girl, pain shooting upwards at the leg. Finding bruises and cuts amid the possible fractured ankle on my starving, heavily sleep-deprived body throws daunting tolerance and niceties out of the window. Snorting, she let out a sigh to confirm her disappointment, mouthing the words unwaveringly. “You’re a Seer Actinium. YOU ARE supposed to be able to kill hoards of these Numens. They are once humans though.” She dipped her finger into a blood puddle, wiped the finger with her handkerchief and continued.

“Some humans turned to Numens, some didn’t when Bermuda came. Some like you, became a Seer and had powers. Mortimer sent me. You’re a level 9 and we don’t see them often. We’ll be seeing you soon. You will be needing us.” She took a piece of mirror shard, going around in a slow, careful examination of her face at her reflection, absorbing her appearance upon angles, fair that nothing fazed her and bored she had to find ways to amuse herself.

I had to ask because this sounded now a ridiculous conspiracy. “Are you saying that I’m the Avenger now and the monster, the monster that I’ve just killed is called a Numen? Numen used to be normal people?” Sweat was still slick on my face and there was fresh blood on my clothes and across my body. “Uh, if you could say so, pretty much yeah. ” Little crazy girl was checking her scythe now, the stones had stopped radiating red, quietened to a black, the scythe inscription also an insipid grey. The heat I felt from the scythe had dispersed from back then, and it was just this petite girl extraordinarily holding up the adult, oversized weapon to her level. She tucked the scythe behind her back on a mount. I propped up my little brother against a knackered wall and felt my own tears brimming over Ken’s pale face. He became lighter and was now bone thin where he used to be a little overweight. Mom and Dad used to tell him to run laps outside instead of playing computer games and snacking on chips.

“Oh. I’m just like you but I have a scythe, and I’m only the keeper.” She retorted back, sardonic to affirm the importance of doing one’s job as the whatever slayer, and to imply I only had one job to do right. “Why do you know nothing at all? You don’t even know how to land.” The insult revealed, insinuating a response. Ken did not wake. He was lifeless, but breathing I could tell. He might need proper treatment and help. “Fuck, how old are you? You seem to know a lot of things. Are you from an organisation? Do you have any medicine or know first aid or a doctor?” I started crying and hollering out in panic, murmuring too, and shaking. “Please, my brother might be dying.” Breathe, I had to. Think, think, think. What, I was so enraged, at the girl’s lack of emotional regard, knowing we were both hurt and Ken might be seriously hurt.

“He’ll be fine. Just leave him be. You’ll need to treat his wounds though.” Scythe girl lashed out impatiently, her pitch higher than it was. What’s with her?

“Here, give him this.” She threw over an envelope reluctantly and I bent forward to pick it up, opening it to see that there were a bunch of dried brown leaves. “They are healing leaves, you will make him eat.” She was walking away from us. “You don’t need water for hours when he has taken the leaves….”, Then all at once her presence was diminishing from the corporeal in a turbulent whirlwind, dissolving her talk and babyfaced features along with her scythe till it was out of sight. What remained was a light breeze. There was the sound of her scythe with the bowed, irregular contours hitting on the cement spot where she left.

I had a lot to process. I stared at the toilet divider, now already damaged and exposed, for awhile. I stared at my hands for that moment of truth again. A long while, and nothing. I waited. I rummaged my bag and did the bandages for our injuries, which fortunately did not require surgery or emergency aid. There was some water at the sink so I did my best to clean us up, wobbly limping on the side. I did have to walk slower than usual since my ankle twisted. There were several neck bruises and small cuts on my arms and Ken’s but they were minor.

An hour later, I heard Ken stirred and he had kicked against a hose getting up. I ran over to check on him and he hugged me in relief, both of us in pain, wildly afraid and in tears again. Jitterbug, I stuffed the healing leaves into Ken’s mouth, forcibly had him swallow it down which he did. I utter to him in that sweet tone Mom had always, deliberating the new might. “Ken, I’m a Seer. Watch me.”

To be continued.

- Vander

The Bermuda Sky [A Horror Story] Part 2

“You sure there ain’t anything or anyone in the building?” Ken warned, looking on suspiciously with his sweat dripping from his head. We walked and ran for miles before finding this school, a possible safe place now decrepit and dreadful against a familiar backdrop. Walls still standing up and strong, roof from the front looks fine although yet to be examined. It’s the school that we pass always, on the way home from the Jupiter mall in Mom’s car and on our bikes. Signboard missing, but sure about the Maple International School with the fancy courts that Mom would say on repeat, school for the rich children and their mollycoddling maids. Our 23rd day alive since Bermuda happened, vile giant creatures had arrived and took the towns, animals, families, my parents.. everything sped by fast and gone. We don’t know the nature of these lifeforms, their actual names or where they came from, at least the both of us. All the TVs and radios had wires fried when the circle moon broke into a triangle, its center still moon-like but different and diabolical this time. The neighbour who died saving us a meal and a shelter on our 10th day, only said it was the Bermuda calling out monsters. There must be an explanation somehow on Bermuda. What martian sick shit Bermuda could tear us all apart?

Ken and I saw them black wispy figures with smoky dark hands taking away Mom and Dad when we ran for cover and our fearless and protective parents had thrown us into the sewers, so we were able to make it out. How they died flabbergasted, not gonna say further, or think about it anymore, or overthink and weep silly again. Ken in denial blamed Christ, cried 2 weeks in and still had more grief to settle for grievance. Seeing as I was older, I had to be collected, firm and decisive to act on behalf of us. There’s no way we could ever mend the loss. Taking care of my messy brother after all that we’ve been through is the code I live for now. I’ve kicked his bullies and jailed their gangs before, but this IS the ultimate. Surviving the future ahead without adults, little food, sleeping in turns, the stench, clueless. We didn’t have enough on us on several occasions so both of us passed out walking and hiding and then woke up walking again, a long shot away from home.

“We have to enter, to get food. There might be showers working too.” I told Ken while pushing away barricades blocking the institution’s front porch, some broken and some not, but all the same stained in blood. “We could go in, might be a fortress.” The school’s perimeter fences had a part of it toppled over for us to sneak in so we just needed to push through the main entry where the lock broke but wouldn’t open.

Something was holding those double doors fast behind, so we took a severed section of a barricade and pushed against it. The attempt failed and the door wouldn’t budge. “Go harder and faster, it might work.” Ken murmured, hurrying to grab another long, heavy clunk of steel. Nodding, I held up both hands on the other end to support it at the back. “OK, let’s push it a few times, it might give”. For two kids not even 18 years of age I admit, we were clumsy teens, uncoordinated and cared far less. After the 5th try, our clonk worked a wonder and one door collapsed behind its entrance, the other still standing but splintered. We backed away, puffs of dust and dirt hazing at a distance till we could see the opening at the doorway, clear to get in. Funny, we dashed in like kids. It was a decent sized building, larger than the houses we found earlier, and it had many rooms. Classrooms.

“Hey, should we seal the entry?” I called out to Ken. “Oh yeah, good idea.” Then he took the hammer and some nails we had in our bag (we were lucky to have found them in the home we sought refuge before we got here days ago, packed them in our large backpacks meant for backpacking). Ken rummaged a tiny pouch for the nails, pulled the hammer out, taking out pieces of broken wood he found and lifted them to board it up nicely.

I ran fast to the canteen, Ken ploddingly trailed behind. Pulling the knob and going in, my consciousness sank. I stood wobbly, shaken by damages I couldn’t believe. Dining tables were wrecked, lights fell onto severed floor tiles with pieces of glass shattered all over the left of its side entrance. The ceiling seemed to be ripped at its edges apart, leaving daylight casted over the floors below. I swung open the kitchen doors and the refrigerator was lying horizontal over broken tiles and a pile of debris. “Supplies” was written on one inner door I found. Going through it had bags of flour on a metal shelf. One bag had spilled out its contents over the floor with dirt and slime.

“Don’t touch that opened one”. My brother cautioned to me. “Contaminated yes?” I dragged the spilled flour bag over to one corner. Then I found something else there. At first, I didn’t think it was what it was, when I saw a torn box that had a sticker flipped upside down with handwritten random numbers on it. Didn’t seem like it had anything within. Still, any box could mean stuff we could use, so why not? I flung the box wide open and saw another smaller box in it. That was a box containing 12 smaller packs of Chocolate biscuits, 3 in a pack. 12! Expires a year later, which must be new. Now this was more practical than flour, we might not have water and salt to make bread or an edible. It should taste averagely good and weigh us down on the road.

I gestured over to Ken and pointed to the biscuit box. “Take these, not the flour. We don’t need extra baggage.” As though Ken could read my mind and knew what I was talking about, he rushed over to peek into the box. Right away, he slipped out a lopsided IKEA bag from his backpack and gathered the biscuits for us. I went ahead and pulled open the refrigerator door but it had nothing in it. We sighed together when our eyes met, empty and disheartened. There wasn’t anything else handy we could find there, after all the food cabinets and storage shelves have been checked. Ken popped into a classroom and got out, shaking his head. He did that for the classroom next door too.

Most of the stuff we saw and went through stunk pretty bad, mixed together with our terrible body odour craving to be treated. Not wanting to waste further time, we made our way to the toilets at the hallway and found ourselves a shower stall that still had some clean water coming through, though no heating. The flow of water stopped almost as soon as we had finished washing up, Ken fully dressed while tying his shoelaces. An immediate thump followed, quaking the floors and there was a loud crash coming from the hallway.

“OMG quuick! Get dressed!! Something’s coming!” Ken cried out, grabbing all our things. Loud, accelerated thuds from what seem like colossal footsteps sent shockwaves through the air and our actions hastened with the approach. My head was spinning. Putting on my pants, and reaching for the shirt, a blast came through, ripping walls and toilet bowls and the impact flew us to the back of the room. We huddled against each other, bracing silent and petrified. Tears were flooding away our senses and our bodies were at this moment pinned down by nerves. The black wispy ones appeared, this time raging and bigger than we saw, a monstrous arachnid organism scuttling its limps, rapid prods striking massive holes into the grounds of the toilet, smaller holes around caving in. We clung to the remaining walls, rolling about opposite directions to get away but it was lurching at us. The hairy legs compress a beckoning of dark lingering wisps, separating itself from parent to child, sandy string curling into and wrapping taut around our necks. The choke was impetuous and intense. All struggling and screaming had dissolved into a mute, my windpipe about to explode, body turning blue. I knew I was dying, my brother too.

I love you Ken.. An illuminating bright flash, keen to a sun ray exposure blurred my vision and, a second shot back to reality brought it closer to a sight like it was calling out to me. There I saw the pounding heart of the Bermuda beast.

To be continued.

- Vander

Cold And Grey

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Afternoon at the exit of a train station,

Creo, a boy of 13 years, rummaged his pocket. He had no wallet.

“5 cents is all I have today. 5 cents....”

Blank space in his head, he knew it over and over again.

Because he was so poor, unintelligent and forgotten by parents,

He did not have enough to eat, play or be schooled.

Bored, stiffed to the stale and near grey-skinned,

A mere glance at himself made him cold.

So cold where wanting to scream and cry only brought pain.

He sat at the steps near the ticket counter,

Looking at little boys and girls disgusted at him,

Fingers raised at him with teasing ridicule,

Boy did not even know how to hide.

Then a butterfly fluttered and plunged at him,

Its wings had broke, where one of it had snapped.

So he said out, filling his lungs with air, “Are we going to be ok?”

Then the butterfly twitched again so

He picked it up and left it in a safe little mesh box he found.

It was the box that belonged to Therus, an older man.

Therus watched Creo from afar,

Curious to him taking up his box and then

His heart stung a broken note with the boy’s kindness.

Boy had protected the butterfly nearing its end.

Knowing this young one had nothing on him, nothing to say,

But was the light above himself.

He was convinced when it was cold and grey,

There would not be a silver lining

When flickering quietly it must be

A rekindling heart, lighting its last embers.

- Vander

Disclaimer: All poetry and fiction here are original material written by Vander. Please note that all text references, descriptions and indications are purely fictional (make-believe if you didn’t know what fiction is!) and is in no relation to any actual entities).

The Bermuda Sky [A Horror Story] Part 1

Disclaimer: All poetry and fiction here are original material written by Vander. Please note that all text references, descriptions and indications are purely fictional (make-believe if you didn’t know what fiction is!) and is in no relation to any actual entities).

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On the 3rd of April 2025, there was the Bermuda sky. It was the curse of the night. The ring moon we once knew pelted into a dull triangle, three edges and three vertices in grey overcast and in came the darkest of nights which will last forever, where the sun no longer rose to give light and hope. At the full moon we embraced on midsummer and gloriously basked in the meditation of stargazing, gave birth to an odd, triangular star soaring high above the black night, foreshadowing the annihilation of mankind.

We headed indoors and locked our doors as fast as we could, our hearts racing faster than our bodies understood, as foul “things” looking like black smoky wisps appeared. These things eat men and women and will not hesitate to take your children. At a distance, I could hear two other kids’ screaming cries and upon hearing their hands and legs being pulled out apart by those things I almost broke down in a meltdown panic. Dismembering body parts, no no no no no no no no no. No. Ken, my dear little brother and I, ran as fast as we could into our safe house with a tiny torch we both shared, hustling down into our basement fort all rattled, while bolting up the doors, shuttering reinforced windows and securing gaps with added wood planks that were gathered from the shed. We could still hear the thing’s breath…drawing near. I put my hands over Ken’s mouth and waited in the quiet, not moving a millimetre lift of a feather, not even letting my eyes roam.

Many lives were taken, including our parents, but we were not done living yet. Right now, as we sip leftover dirt rain water sitting with our soiled pants on rusty chairs in this hyper-catastrophe dystopia, we continue to fight with the last of our might. And, although young and clueless to most things as we should at this juncture, we know that tomorrow is the future and it still belongs to any of us who wants it badly. If Mom was here, she would indefinitely give her very best to keep us alive even when her body is no longer able to, so this is what we are doing, doing what Mom does best, for us. Gawd, I had to cry every time when I think of Mom and Dad. No longer just about missing them and having them around. Not only were they the best parents in the world, they loved us to bits. Ken and I. It just wasn't fair - Bermuda and these foul things got to them fast, ripping their bodies with the audacity to spit out our mom and dad’s brains on the sofa as we hid behind a bookshelf a meter across, staring straight into a sight so gross it had to be the ultimate symbol of parental death. This was the final end leaving us both abandoned and devastated in the middle of the woods where our home was. We walked for 22 days before we could find a safe house built on fortified walls, something we could at least count on in the meantime scavenging for food.

To be continued.

Disclaimer: All poetry and fiction here are original material written by Vander. Please note that all text references, descriptions and indications are purely fictional (make-believe if you didn’t know what fiction is!) and is in no relation to any actual entities).

Dead At 40 Part 2 [Thriller Story]

Part 2 written by Vander of Lifebly (All references and descriptions are fictional.)

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Today’s October 21, 2021. As of now, I am currently working as a bartender in Oasis, a local pub in town. Last year, I’ve spent plenty of vacation time in Paris, and in so returning to normalcy sends me back home to work again. There are lots of time on my hands even as I wait on tables and customers at this time, being overstaffed today and our waiters puttering about across the floor. I pick up the used coasters, cleaned it on the counter and placed it back on the rack. It is about 9.00 pm and my shift ends in one more hour. The after-work group of white collar workers are grouping up and occupying more spaces in the outdoor area. My eyes seem to fixate on the new lot of Merlot bottles in a crate and my attentiveness stupefied into a blank gaze on the fermented red. My suicide plan to take my own life on 26 December 2022 still stands, slowly being prepared and my life, pushed into alarming brevity, active and taken into perspective as it draws closer to its last breathing months.

These days, it is all about tying up loose ends, all the ones that should be taken care of, with cautious care. They can leave you a little sad sometimes, if not, disoriented from your true directive, posing extra questions and creating stirs of distractions to leave you kind of rattled with minute regrets. I made sure the finances were in check first, going through my bank accounts and services I’ve used, settling the remaining debts to be paid before October 2022, and writing will papers that will be used for insurance. Unusually, my insured policy allows death claims from suicide. Ah, insurance. Who gets the money when I’m gone? Well, I suppose in this case it is my parents, whom I presume might take the cash out for a casino run. Also, I went through all my belongings and have decided to donate most pieces away to a few friends and neighbours, including furniture, appliances, clothes and any other household items. A rather short list of my vintage possessions will be given away to the local thrift store, delivery date and timings arranged. Some other personalised letters will be written to my grandmother, two best friends of mine, and to a lady at the Paris hotel whom I’ve chatted with for hours.

On the day of my actual suicide attempt, only one backpack will be left behind to hold all the important tools in carrying out the intended act of self-death. Snap! My thoughts were interrupted when one customer hollered for an extra shot of gin. So I took out an empty glass, poured it from a bottle and brought it out on a tray to his table. Then I scooted over to the old, black walnut bar counter, cleaning the surface with a rag, sure to wipe the corners and fronts to prevent stains. Quickly checking the tabs of customers, I scribbled some notes onto the sides of the sheets so that the next shift’s bartenders would notice. Then Ragle, the old man, owner of Oasis told me, “Hey, you can go. I’ve got this.” Glad in relief, I said, “Ok, I’ve did the tabs. Is there anything else you need before I leave?” Old man picked up the menu and faced me for a while before going on, “Nothing, Doris is right behind you, she’s at the kitchen and will be here.” Oh, Doris. That midget Ariana Grande-wannabe with the big lips. She takes on the next shift, I recalled in my head. “Right, I’ll be out, bye Ragle.” Gently, I removed my apron, folded it neatly and placed it on the shelf below the counter. Ragle went on to the back to speak to the house chefs.

Disclaimer: All poetry and fiction here are original material written by Vander. Please note that all text references, descriptions and indications are purely fictional (make-believe if you didn’t know what fiction is!) and is in no relation to any actual entities.

Dead At 40 Part 1 [Thriller Story]

Part 1 written by Vander of Lifebly (All references and descriptions are fictional.)

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Sometimes we just want someone to save us. It can be difficult. When no one else will. We begin the process of healing when there is somebody pulling us out from the brink of death. Truth be told, most people won’t ever save you on the count of self-reliance attuned as an obvious. You are supposed to know that as an adult well enough. Or better else behave, if not.

At exactly 26 December 2022, on my 40th birthday, I will die by my own will of hanging, on a noose of my liking at least. I have decided this to be the best way to end it, once and for all, in the cleanest most possible humane way I could think of should someone come forth bumping accidentally to unravel my expired body. Before this, on 25 December 2022, on my last Christmas, I shall have the finest feast on the table at my favourite bistro and drink up to gratified fulfilment, while admiring the extraordinary night view under the circumstances a messy exuberant crowd can never ruin the beautiful evening. It is a hypothetical fairytale of mine that should a man join me at this table in meeting this delightful hour, I may seek great pleasure in his brief acquaintance. But I guess, this won’t ever happen when my appearance falters in today’s virile expectations.

So, what do you think of an individual who plans one’s own death by their own will? Is it somewhat disappointing, a pity actually to be despised on, or an outpouring of empathy or sympathy from within? I have to say, it sure is everything and more you can imagine.

Now, I’ve had a displaced childhood. Basically, two decades of hurt, neglect, terrorizing trauma, tolerating as much as I could alongside abusive parents. Real parents turned crazy reckless ballistic, supposed-to-shoulder-domestic-responsibilities actual, biological parents. Everyday of my wholesomely tragic life, they would pierce halfway smoked cigarette butts into my arms and legs. On top of that, breaking alcohol bottles to slit and rip my tanned skin. I was born tanned, quite not in their favor indeed. Still, grievances have to run deep. Once I had a 9 centimeter slash near my elbow area bleeding so quickly till I lost my ground, plunging head first at the door I tried to hold still. Out of guilt, mom drove and carried me to the hospital. Life was completely turbulent and nothing could ever change. I shivered everyday in the midst of mom and dad’s presence as they smiled and threw a fit. I was the daughter they didn’t love; though they always said they did everything out of love, while dealing a razing blow to my flesh. I was always apologizing to people for fear they would hurt me like my parents at whatever I did. I had been wronged, but felt the world had been right like I absolutely, in annoyance deserved it. Yes, I was the girl who felt like the world gave her up, sold her away and disappeared. 

I let my hair down outside the terrace rooftop of a beautiful hotel in Paris, took out a lighter, pulled out a cigarette in my pocket and lit a flame to the stick. I don’t smoke, but yesterday someone at the lobby thought I could use one and passed it to me while I sat waiting for my room to be ready for check-in. Now as it is, a bright, airy, and warm morning at 8 am as I leaned my bruised arms against the rails of the roof terrace. From this height, I looked casually onwards the vehicle traffic accumulating downstairs while I let the cigarette burn its run, smoke curling, ashes scattering to billowy winds. The smell of tobacco rising had me wanting to throw up and there I remembered my parents’ ciggies indented into my epidermis. Again, a chill hovered through my bones and I was afraid to move. Beats of my heart seem to palpitate faster, and a feeling of sickened malaise followed. As if obsessed, I rolled up my long sleeves to examine the several bruises on my left arm including the scarred smears left by the countless cigarettes. Left arm held up pretty well despite the most pain inflicted to it. There were too many of these, and honestly, these scars hurt. Forever. Mentally. Depriving. So there it is, akin to a leper woman of lesions, never going to be a dainty damsel, saved by a knight in any armour. This ugly of mine can never tempt any wise hearts of gentlemen. 

Stepping back into the room, I took out a diary and placed it on a round table next to the bed. The “diary” is a cheap notebook with empty unlined papers, scored off a little bookstore down the street. I wrote some notes into the page on the decisive plans to die on my 40th birthday. Soon to be happening next year. It’s October 2021 now, and the novel coronavirus from last year had weathered out pretty successfully, unbound from its shackles after a potent vaccine was introduced in early February to be distributed worldwide for release. It was also last year that removed me from my job as an air stewardess, a pandemic misfortune beckoning resignation after 5 years up in the air, waiting on VIP passengers in private charter planes. Our uniform black long-sleeves and long pants are like the stately enemies to wealthy clients, but they hid my scars well and are blankets of comfort.

Disclaimer: All poetry and fiction here are original material written by Vander. Please note that all text references, descriptions and indications are purely fictional (make-believe if you didn’t know what fiction is!) and is in no relation to any actual entities.

Wall Of Hands Part 2 [A Horror Story]

Part 2 written by Vander of Lifebly (All references and descriptions are fictional.)

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“Mom, Dad!!!” I shouted at the top of my lungs as I noticed their full figures appearing in the distance, soon fading into the smoky horizon. Tears rolled down my cheeks and I couldn’t hold in the longing within me. I heard Mom’s voice saying as she sauntered away with Dad, “Baby, listen to your heart and your fears will go.” What fears? How did she know I was afraid? I was getting confused at her words. Then a beep in my head followed, and I awake to white light, blinding track lights that casted shadows at a direction. I looked at the cool daylight bulb on the ceiling lights. Taking in the macro view around, I found myself back in my bedroom. Prompt to retracing my prior steps and situation when I was at the library, I raised a palm over my forehead to check if I was running a fever. Right, I’m neither too hot nor cold to warrant a fever. So why was I lightheaded and tripped out? Suddenly, my stepmother (not the first of my concerns) peered into my door and hollered “You weren't eating at all, were you? School gave me a call, alerted on your knockout. Doc had you checked and you’re fine though.”

As if nothing happened, stepmom disappeared from the doorway, leaving her trail of steps heard going down the stairs. Ain’t surprising, considering I wasn’t really her child. Like always, I got up and changed into my old pajamas to rest in bed. My body still felt weak and dehydrated, so I took a long chug of water from the bottle at my nightstand. There at once, feeling grave and unnerving, it was there. In the water bottle. Several dead white tiny hands swirled around the water, clocking a sudden few spins of water spirals with intricate fingers lifting off every hand. In sync with every other pair of hands, basked in a trance ritual. About seven pairs of these little hands, possibly a centimetre each moving in synchronisation to the circulating water coil in reactive state. Blinking and looking at it again, this time holding it up to my huge eyes up-close, they were quickly gone. Have I gone batshit nuts? Please, allow me to retreat. I dipped back to bed and retired into a nap.

I knew the taste of hurt. Hurt is heavy, drowning your hopes out as it tucks away mind reasoning, body ready to consume more soul. Hurt had an unwelcoming familiarity begetting demise to bare ends. After getting called to dinner, in a huge sweat, I hurried out of bed and turned off the room lights. As the air got cooler, I’ve changed into a pair of fresh jumper and joggers, scuttling along and heading downstairs. I hated dinnertime at home. It was always the same routine of discussing bad news in town on modest Chinese meals. Today, like days before, the main talk at the table was still the coronavirus out up to speed spreading to cities worldwide, and life was not so normal with panic buys, frantic hoarders, and business closures. People were anxious about a pandemic, which the WHO has yet to admit. Stepmom and dad were speaking at disbelief, trying to rationalise the decisions of the authorities and sympathising by folks’ intentions. In between, they reached for the plates in front to grab a piece of chicken and broccoli, distraught at the occurrence of the sweeping health catastrophe. Visualising those hands again in the water glass on the dinner table, I course to remember the water spirals mediated by their cryptic movements. For reasons I know not of, I’m not spooked as I should be. My exhaustion might have nullified the sensing creeps. Hands, what are those hands?

The next day after school, I swung by the ice cream store for work. The new manager, a friendly, burly potbelly middle-aged guy was happy to see me. Being polite, I smile wryly, not so much to be liked but to reciprocate in return. Above the register on the wall attached the arranged schedule for this week, spotting my name on specific days after school hours for duty. Mr. Manager (I’ve nicknamed him Pots) instructed a tour downstairs to a basement where stocks and supplies were kept for the store, so I would be informed of inventory and store administration. At the end, there is a silver door opened, leading to a generously empty cellar set in white bricks on all four walls. Now this got to be a pretty excuse to keep an excellent stash of wines, smooth thinking, in my head. Cursory, my eyes glanced over the spacious cellar and something at the back ensnared my eye. On one side of the walls, rested several pairs of white hands hooked on securely to the brick. Porcelain-coated, some with minor chips and cracks but in the entirety retained its pristine. Not so midget in the water bottle, this time now. Pots intervened at once saying, “Oh those. Decorative indeed. Owner left behind. Quite the taste actually, a bit the sinister. Props for a show probably?” Those hands however, appeared like they had once, twice or more, moved. As I continue staring on as though struck to the ground by lightning at the multiple sets of white hands hanging almost camouflaged to the walls, Pots gave a smack on my shoulder in an abrupt mention, “Get over here and help me with these boxes!” shutting the cellar door behind us. God forbid, certainly, that one of the hands were jiggling on the brick as we ascended the basement.

Disclaimer: All poetry and fiction here are original material written by Vander. Please note that all text references, descriptions and indications are purely fictional (make-believe if you didn’t know what fiction is!) and is in no relation to any actual entities.

Wall Of Hands Part 1 [A Horror Story]

Part 1  written by Vander of Lifebly (All references and descriptions are fictional.)

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At 4 am, I saw a ghost of the past on a chair. It had the slightest grey tint of a shadow with white hands resting on the armrest. Completely still, it bore an air of ill displacement and sad misfortune. It’s frayed old attire suggested someone from the 1930s or 40s period, but I couldn’t even tell for what decade the dress code was as a person dropping out and having flung history lessons. I narrowed my eyes, fixated but drew it back as I got tired identifying the clothing’s era on that apparition. Learning and remembering history was mundane pain in class even as a college freshman who bothered to pen notes on paper on the side. Yes, call me dumb in my head, but truthfully honest and innocent at heart. You may perceive me as pure, I don’t know. And oh, by the way. I hate ghosts. Not because I fear them, but I see them all the time. Most days, they just have a little unfinished business and keep a distance. This one though, had a grieving darkness I could not quite grapple and understand. Something like a thicker fog, which never clears the path but grows heavier till it wolfs down everything. It had an overwhelming tenacious weight that could suck you in instantly, like a magnet being pulled into the unknown which likely kills in a second without warning, if one may imagine. 

Now, you may ask me. Why the hell am I looking at this ghost right now? Well, I was, working on my term assignment. It was homework at the ungodly hour, burning the midnight oil away. I had troubles sleeping so I got up to work on it two days before the deadline was due. I needed to get it done now, so I could use the extra time for a new part-time job at the ice cream store that just opened two weeks ago. I’ve nailed the interview for that, and it starts tomorrow, after class. Jolly great. Saving more money to move out of my step-parents’ home. Right, my current mom and dad are not my real parents. Just my parents’ friends who had indulged in collective sympathy, adopting me home into their household one day after the car accident that left everyone in my family dead, including my baby brother, here I solely survived. I was not at the scene, and I wasn’t really crying my balls out even then. Staring at the ceiling for almost a year and remaining practically mute throughout wherever I went was all I did, basically, for mourning. 

Gawd, this ghost looked a gruesome dead. It reeked of a peculiar sour stench, like a decayed dumpster of overexpired carcasses and all foul things in a morose. As I sniffed and unassumingly let out a leaky outlet of nasal sounding, the ghostly figure turned its face at me as though it heard. That thing revealed its eyes in a split second, parts of its eyelids exposed in convulsing flesh while registering my presence. Stunned to the bone in sobriety, I let out a scream. Bolting across the living area, tripping over my sleeping dog (this one’s absolutely too stoney for it’s own good) albeit balancing my fall with sturdy arms aligned to a pivot crawl up the stairs, I darted straight to my room, ducking right away into the covers of my bed. Trembling and fumbling at any pillow to hide my head properly well, to brace contact if it arises. That…….that, that, tttthhhh, that…that was a hideous, Machiavellian face of resentment and rancorous destruction which lost the whole damn darn way, possibly a hell’s league from anything quite remotely good. Or should I say already tarnished the sacred? I panicked, heart racing in action for a fight or flight. The whole night I quivered in fear and did not shut either eye for an hour. By morning, my drained energy drove me quite insane but I picked myself up for school anyway. Shit, I’ve actually hustled to school on time. On both numb, jellied feet.

The event of a ghastly encounter last night kept me awake all the way till lunch. It made me irrationally pacing back and forth, destabilised and frightened than ever at the mere thought of it where our eyes met, discharging a repulsive terror none the least anticipated or preferred. My lunch tray which was a sandwich and a milk carton was left untouched as I huddled alone in a corner at the noisy canteen. That memory of a creepy insidious face compelled my turtle-shell life to end ruptured in chaos to confront and vouch if whatever that entity was in any, anyyy bit normal. Sure didn’t look like Halloween rehearsal! Hours later, when classes ended, I rang up the ice cream store with the best excuse of being sick in period pains, scoring the day’s off successfully, the smartsy bailed part-timer. I must investigate that nightmare of a figure I saw. Now, my curiosity is leading the madness in my head. Going towards the school hallway and into the library doors, I removed my laptop from my tote swiftly turning it on and sweatily start looking up on that evil with monstrous white hands. Mentally hungry for clues, I banged in the keywords that came to my mind and a pool of related search results appeared. A linked article caught my eye instinctively at interest, insinuating me to select a news headline which said, “Scientist, dead in hill’s house found with collection of murdered hands”. As I begin to read on hastily, an intense wave of fatigue caught on, snapped me off and before long, my body caved in as I collapsed on the floor of the library.

Disclaimer: All poetry and fiction here are original material written by Vander. Please note that all text references, descriptions and indications are purely fictional (make-believe if you didn’t know what fiction is!) and is in no relation to any actual entities.

The Zepia Rebirth, Chapter 1 Part 4

Excerpt from The Zepia Rebirth (Fiction Story) by Vander. (Please note all references and descriptions are purely fictional and are not in relation to real world entitles).

Chapter 1, Part 4:

As Captain, I had to brave the storms far more often than my people were led to think. Leader of 25 select soldiers in a special unit King Xarv had planned as contingency to his infirmities, if any. His highness named us the Valors. I strived to my utmost ability never to disappoint him, as he had brought me up like a son often than not and cherished me in paternal affection. As a kid without real parents, I never felt like I needed any form of attention from anyone. It was widely accepted that men and women could genetically clone or create their children from normative bioanalytics in Zepia, but I was born directly from the lab of the Xars hood based on the king’s imprint. This was the king’s order, where a decision was made to pass down his genetic information into a body scrutinized, picked and forged by his choice. All kings, predecessors and successors however, are always the result of Xarv marriages consummated and birthed from royal mothers.

So far, six other bodies were similarly made from Xars laboratories and they had lived to be great warriors, each of them leaving their mark in history. At 22, I was the 7th surviving King Xarv-engineered human. Strong and fit like a bull, although impatient and rebellious throughout. I had broken the ribs of soldiers, severed the heads of thousands and ready for wars no living could imagine. King Xarv had continuously encouraged me as he saw each time what I did. Any time before I head out for a battlewich, which in our language, a war of good, he would brief cautions only to use my strength for morality and in saving lives (supposedly what Xars preached), and that I will be rewarded if I did so. Wars were so common and rampant between the planets and only Earth was spared, as it was peace on Earth that the Colonies would never taint. Earth was the untouchable, a place where I thought I could dream of retiring in someday. 

Sometimes the blood of our enemies reminds me that I was not so much a human as them. My blood was colder than theirs. I shivered about my kills when I got back to Twera, our base, laying in my bed twitchy, shell-shocked each time but pretended to be fine. I never had a day where I could restfully sleep. King Xarv knew about this and had prescribed anti-insomniac drugs to keep me in check. My sleep could only complete once I was medicated, and so I had a regular automatic dispenser of anti-insomniacs at bedside. From the day I was Captain at 16, I had already taken potent dosages of those, way before I was discharged as functional from the lab. They were administered by a click from the dispenser onto the skin, where a laser would penetrate underneath the epidermis and the formula released directly into my bloodstream. The formula was known as the Ellesse. Also, on top of my bed, there is a shelf with an automatic saber and firearm with a supercharge magazine. I keep that close to remind myself that, I am the Captain of the Valors and if I do get attacked in my sleep, there is always the immediate opportunity for revenge. I have seen a fair share of people not on my side, and there can only be so much of a wise. Better to be safe than sorry.

Disclaimer: All poetry and fiction here are original material written by Vander. Please note that all text references, descriptions and indications are purely fictional (make-believe if you didn’t know what fiction is!) and is in no relation to any actual entities.

The Zepia Rebirth, Chapter 1 Part 3

Excerpt from The Zepia Rebirth (Fiction Story) by Vander. (Please note all references and descriptions are purely fictional and are not in relation to real world entitles).

Chapter 1, Part 3:

The year was 5090, in Zepia, an independent planet. Time had progressed with man in the propagation of technological systems and the development of infrastructures in monumental leaps. Humans were taking control over their lives and had shaped their destiny. They had adapted and innovated an abstract post-modernity. Zepia Humans, or Zepians, began to multi-dimensionally print their food from tablets to the utmost precise texture and taste, drove cars into skies at rocket speeds, and cultivated green plants that no longer perished. Trading currency was in the form of points reflected on eye retinas on regular scans at electromagna shops. Fingerprints could also release buying points registered in their dermascopic material to merchants and the change of these points conducted at specific planetary stations. People worked and lived in soaring towers suspended in air due to Plancko-quantum gravity manipulating generators. Least paltry, the living population were not merely a forthcoming of the future – they were Gods of their own will. 

Our planet Zepia existed on its own right from the beginning, and was widely referred by our citizens as “The Colony”. My people call me Tyran, Captain of our Colony Militia, The Volkans. We served the King of our Colony Zepia, King Xarv, a just and gentle ruler, 16th descendant of the Xarv Royals. Our Colony fought in several war expeditions and kept out our long-time enemies from the North and South colonies of the galaxy. There were a couple of planets that we had heard about, such as the one we refer as N2E, natively termed ‘Earth’ - about their bountiful forestations, vast mountains and blue seas that never ceases to amaze us. We loved these stories when we were little, our parents reciting bewitching lines from a folklore book of their lands as we listened wide-eyed in disbelief until we nod our heads off blissfully into slumber. The weather in Zepia is almost always cold at 5 degrees, and our skin were so naturally thick to endure the extreme conditions but even still, our nation had fashioned the donning of hyperdown acrylic jackets and jumpsuits.

Disclaimer: All poetry and fiction here are original material written by Vander. Please note that all text references, descriptions and indications are purely fictional (make-believe if you didn’t know what fiction is!) and is in no relation to any actual entities.